You Bought a What?

I'm one of those lucky women who gets whatever she asks for.

Why, just the other day, I casually mentioned how nice it would be to have something to move large quantities of compost into my garden, something like, I don't know, a dumptruck.

Yesterday, Ranch Boss and his buddy Boone ran down to Comanche to drop a hay rake at a ranch auction. Just to be clear, RB is a seller in this case. Despite being the first day of spring, the 40mph wind and sideways sleet encouraged me to stay home.

"Is that a good idea?" asked Mother Jane who knows that I am a "tempering" influence at auctions.

"What's worse," I told her, "he's with a guy who said he likes ranch auctions better than....uh...anyway...."

Hours passed. 

When Ranch Boss finally called, it sounded like this: 


"Ohmygod, Honey, you are not going to believe how well that rake sold, I mean it was amazing, they just started bidding and it was so great and Boone's with me and we've had a few Coors Lights and we made so much money on the rake that I boughtabiggerrakeandaseederandadumptruck."

"Whaaaaa was the last part?"

Yah, well meet Davis the Dumptruck.

Davis has 131,000 miles that he'll admit to, a 454 with a split transmission (whatever that means), a smashed windshield, mismatched tires, a driver window that won't roll up, tired brakes and a smattering of crescent wrenches and screwdrivers that someone didn't grab from under the seat.

But the best part is DAVIS RUNS AND DUMPS!

This might be where Ranch Boss is a genius because he paid less for Davis than a decent used mountain bike.

Davis and I were born about the same time and the beautiful thing about vehicles of that vintage is they lack all the annoying, unfixable, electronic nonsense that runs stuff like air-conditioning and power steering. Ranch Boss can fix Davis' minor cosmetic and mechanical issues with one-arm tied behind his back. Soon Davis will be hauling everything from gravel to bat guano.

You might be asking yourself how we came up with such a clever and pithy nickname for Davis in less than 24 hours of ownership?

Genius, I suppose.


March 21, 2010